Saturday, August 9, 2008

Why not?

So, I'm sitting in Backporch coffee (i'm sure none of you have heard of it)... and I thought about how much I not only want to, but need to tell you some crap in order to maintain sanity. It's the feeling of, I'm going to burst at the seems if I don't at least write this down and think it through. I have decided now is a good time to tell you what is on my mind.

~Ok, so think about this for a second, How much time do you spend trying to prove to people you're the person you think you should be?

In other words, how honest are you in portraying yourself to other people? We want people to see the best of us. I've never met someone and thought to myself "hmm, I'm really going to give this person my worst. I am going to shake their hand and then spit on their shoe...that'll teach them to think I'm a good person." However, I have devised equally devious plans to help show people that I am,    such a good person! 

Honestly, I feel horrible admitting that I deceive people daily, but what it comes down to is there is only one being that is not at all deceived, and so, when everyone else finds out what a jerk you are, sorry, I am, only he will still be standing next to you/me. My inadequacies lead me to absolute reliance on God, and that is why I have to tell you I'm a liar. I don't want to be pretentious anymore, if you see good in me let it be God's goodness shining through, for surely I do not posses the talent of pure goodness all on my own. 

The problem is that this world is so darn competitive that we allow no room for inadequacy, and thus, no room for God. No wonder God breaks us down before he lifts us up. From a very early age you and I are pinned against each other to be the smartest, strongest, fastest, coolest and anything short of that is not ok, it's failure, lazy, and dreamless. Naturally we learn to deal with these unrealistic expectations by lying to ourselves and others to make it seem as though we are not letting society down. And God has that to work with... 

Pretty soon, you are listening to your friend tell you, "I'm sorry, I was just being who I thought you wanted me to be." and in that horrible moment you realize that the person you knew doesn't exist, and that it's because you expected, or at least seemed to expect too much from them. 

So if I have lied to you I am sorry, and if you have lied to me then I blame myself, and would rather know the worst things about you than a million good things you wish you were. 

Wow! I feel so much better now. Thanks!

~Branden~

5 comments:

Jim, Brea, Annabelle and Evelyn said...

It's okay B....I'm a jerk too!!

Victoria Ashley said...

Noodle! I've decided that's your nickname because it popped into my head when I thought, "I'll go over to Branden's blog." So there it is. I love your writing like nothing else and you should for sure post again!

See you this weekend,
Rice

Jennifer Eileen Lankford said...

I blogged about this same issue a few weeks ago, and I really like your spin on it. "For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them."~Eph. 2:8-10
If there is any good in any of us, it is only proof that God is working wonders in our lives. God uses you because the jerk factor in all of us leaves no room for us to take any credit for what He has done. As long as we are pretending to be someone we're not, we are not becoming more like Christ! Thanks for sharing.

Victoria Ashley said...

Seeing as you're like me, you won't be posting a good three to four months so I feel fine calling you noodle all over your blog.;]

Katie Scott said...

Ring...ring

Branden (or should I say Noodle...haha!): "Hello?"

Blogdom: "Hi Branden, Blogdom here."

Branden: "Oh hey, Blogdom. What's up?"

Blogdom: "Just wanted to say: Welcome to Blogdom!"

Branden: "Oh Blogdom, you're so nice. Let's be best friends."

The End.